


Unrequited

by mywritingiswack



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bellarke, F/M, Idiots in Love, Modern Era, Mutual Pining, hellatus is already killing me, it's all my fault, might as well let this kill me too, oh well, the both of them, who cares anyways, why do i cause myself pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-06-28 18:44:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywritingiswack/pseuds/mywritingiswack
Summary: Or is it? Clarke is in love with Bellamy, but she thinks he's not in love with her because these idiots. Bellamy is amazing as usual, being soft and all and I can't believe Clarke doesn't realize how much he is in love with her. Why am I complaining? I wrote this. Anyways, pain in a modern au. You're welcome.Or...Clarke is in love with Bellamy and Bellamy is in love with Clarke and they both think the other isn't in love with them but Murphy knows Clarke is in love with Bellamy and Clarke knows Murphy's in love with Raven and she thinks Bellamy's in love with Echo and hates herself for being in love with Bellamy and Bellamy hates himself for being in love with Clarke and what have I done.





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke watched as Bellamy walked away, butterflies erupting in her stomach and a single thought pushing out all the others

_God, I’m so in love with him._

As the realization hit her, she quickly closed the door and let her breathing overtake the silence left in his wake.

And, suddenly, her brain just began to shoot out doubts and fears and complaints and rationalities and she really just wanted to not deal with her head.

So she burst into tears. Silent, yet somehow both heart-cleansing and heart-breaking.

She sat on her bed, burying herself under the sheets, and allowing herself a moment of weakness. Just a moment, before she had to go back to listening to her head.

Eventually, her sobs were audible, barely, but audible.

And then there was a click.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy had just left Clarke’s apartment when he realized that he lost his keys. At first, he searched his car, but he quickly realized that he would have to go back to her house.

Sighing, he headed back to her house and simply opened the door, since literally no one in this small town ever locked their doors.

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he was not expecting to hear Clarke’s faint sobs.

He went into overdrive and booked it to Clarke’s bedroom, throwing the door open.

Clarke attempted to wipe away her tears, but Bellamy’s heart nonetheless collapsed in on itself.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” he softly asked as he made his way to her bed.

She gave me a tight smile and looked down at her hands.

He lifted her chin so that she was looking at him.

He whispered, “You know that doesn’t work on me, Princess.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke was not expecting Bellamy to barge into her room and demand what was wrong. Okay, maybe she was. But did she want him to? Maybe just a little bit.

But looking at him, knowing how much he deserved and knowing that she could never give it to him, her heart broke, and she couldn’t help the fresh tears that began to stream down her face.

Bellamy quickly enveloped her in a hug, and Clarke calmed when she heard his heartbeat, slow, steady, reliable.

At some point, they must have laid down, because Clarke was suddenly was painfully aware of how close she was to Bellamy.

How close he was to her.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy was soothed by Clarke’s presence in his arms.

Mumbling into her hair, where his head still rested, he said, “Your surprise party was gonna be tonight, but we don’t have to go if you don’t-”

Clarke unraveled herself from Bellamy and looked at him.

“You were gonna throw me a surprise party? My birthday isn’t for another month.”

Bellamy smiled and wiped away some of her remaining tears from her face.

“You’re never surprised, so all of us decided if we did it a month before, we might actually be able to surprise you for once,” he replied.

“If you guys put that much effort in it, I wanna go,” Clarke declared.

Bellamy was always in awe of how strong Clarke could be, but he opened his mouth to protest because there was obviously something wrong and he didn’t know what that was, but she abated his worries with a real smile.

“I’m fine, I promise. Now get out of here and let me get ready.”

Bellamy eyed Clarke skeptically but gave in, knowing that she wasn’t going to let this go.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke followed in Bellamy’s footsteps, and he hugged her one more time before he left.

“I’ll pick you up. And please, please act surprised. If Murphy and Raven find out I told you, they’re gonna kill me,” he joked.

Clarke nodded and murmured, “Anything for you, Bell.”

If only he knew how true that was.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke was weirdly nervous for the party in a way she’d never been nervous before.

She had been pacing waiting for Bellamy when she heard a knock.

Opening the door, Clarke’s breath was taken away by the smile on Bellamy’s face.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy took a discreet look at Clarke, admiring her...outfit.

He got into the driver’s seat and watched as she sat down next to him, shaking away any stray thoughts before saying, “If anyone asks, say I told you we were going for a movie night, but I told you we had to make a quick stop.”

Clarke silently nodded, keeping her eyes on the road like he was supposed to be doing.

They spent the rest of the car ride in a comfortable silence, and Bellamy pulled up to Murphy and Raven’s house.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke felt Bellamy’s hand lightly land on top of hers, spreading heat to her body.

“Are you  _ sure  _ you’re okay, Clar-”

Clarke cut Bellamy off, quickly replying, “Bellamy, I’m  _ fine _ .”

She didn’t wait for Bellamy and went to the door, putting on her best ‘I’m about to be surprised but I don’t know it’ face.

Bellamy came up behind her and unlocked the door, a peculiar expression flickering across his face when she caught his gaze.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy tried not to betray any of his concern when Clarke caught him staring at her.

He opened the door to what no longer looked like Murphy & Raven’s home, but rather a nightclub. It even had an open bar.

Both Clarke & Bellamy wore genuinely surprised expressions, and when Clarke looked at Bellamy inquisitively, not only did his heart beat out of his chest, he also shrugged, attempting to mirror her expression.

Suddenly, Raven appeared at the door, spraying silly string on both of them and yelling, “DJ! Start the music!”

Immediately, ‘Boyfriend’ by Justin Bieber began to play and Bellamy watched as Raven basically dragged Clarke to the dance floor, Clarke quickly tossing Bellamy her purse and mouthing ‘Thank you’.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke knew she was meant to be paying attention to her party, but she couldn’t help that her gaze wandered to Bellamy just as Echo found him. She quickly looked away, but only a few seconds later, Zeke found Raven and they were immediately making out on the dance floor.

Clarke awkwardly excused herself to the bar and sat down on one of the stools, ordering herself a Marilyn and quietly watching as everyone had fun except for her.

Murphy sat down next to her and asked, “So...Bellamy invited Echo, huh?”

She pretended to act like she had no idea what he was insinuating and replied, “They’re dating. Of course he invited her.”

Murphy snorted and gave Clarke the look he always gave her when she tried to lie to him.

So, instead, Clarke brought up something else that bonded them together.

“Raven invited Zeke, right?” she asked, taking a sip of her drink and eying Murphy as he almost choked on his whiskey.

“Low blow, Griffin. Low blow,” he growled, his gaze dropping to the confetti-covered floor just before landing on Raven & Zeke.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy had been watching Clarke all night, so when he saw her sit down at the bar, he tried to follow. Instead, Echo had insisted that they dance.

Bellamy was slightly less worried when Murphy sat down next to her, but in other ways, he was even more worried.

He watched as they talked, and he quickly kissed Echo and said he was gonna go get them some drinks.

He walked up behind Clarke and Murphy quickly excused himself after getting some more whiskey.

“Scotch?” Clarke whispered, her eyes burning a hole in her drink.

Bellamy replied with a smile and, to the bartender, he said, “Two scotches, neat.”

A small scowl came to Clarke’s face and she murmured, “You know I despise scotch.”

He smirked and leaned towards her. “Who said one was for you, Princess? Maybe I just need to drink my woes away."

Clarke’s laugh carried over the music, and Bell was mesmerized, hanging on every cadence of her voice as she replied, “What woes?”

_ The woes that come when I find you crying _ , he thought, but instead, Bellamy downed his scotch and took her drink from her hand, putting it on the counter and bowing.

He vaguely heard her giggles as he offered her his hand and led her to the stage, twirling her and saying into the microphone, “Raven. There are two more surprises. Let’s take the first one out for our princess.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Color bloomed on Clarke’s cheeks as she saw a  _ huge _ cake being wheeled out. Bellamy helped her down, and she barely had time to notice how his fingers curled around her own in a way that, under any other circumstances, would have Clarke about ready to faint.

Raven and Murphy peeked out from behind it and said, in unison, “Surprise!”

Clarke shook her head and hugged Raven. She simply blew a sarcastic kiss to Murphy, and, in response, got quite the scowl from him.

“You guys didn’t have to do all this. This must have cost a fortune,” Clarke said, a huge smile on her face.

“Clarke, I am literally the CEO of a Fortune 500 company-”

“And I leech off of her!” Murphy interrupted.

Raven rolled her eyes and continued, “And you’re one of my best friends in the entire world. I missed your 21st birthday, so this is what you get for your 25th. Plus, this was mostly Bellamy’s idea. Although the DJ was mine and the making this basically a club was Murph’s.”

Clarke’s heartbeat dropped when she heard that this was  _ Bellamy’s _ idea. She turned to face him, quirking one of her eyebrows and saying, “What’s the second surprise?”

Clarke almost had a heart attack when Bellamy leaned towards her, his voice dropping an octave, and whispered, “Wait and find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly fluff to prepare you for upcoming angst...  
> Don't get too used to this amount of fluff.


	3. Chapter 3

The party was beginning to wind down when Clarke was suddenly whisked back onto stage, this time by Raven, though she secretly wished the hand holding hers was Bellamy’s.

Raven was obviously drunk when, her words slurring, she said, “Surprise number 2! This one is all Bellamy, so don’t blame me if it’s horrible.”

Clarke watched as Murphy slowly inched towards the stage just in case Raven fell, and she reminded herself to find a way to set them up.

And then her eyes landed on Bellamy, his hair a wild mess yet somehow looking even better than before.

Clarke cursed under her breath as he walked towards the door, throwing it open and gesturing for everyone to follow.

People flooded out onto the lawn, but Bellamy just stood there, moonlight lighting Bellamy’s face in a way that made Clarke want to kiss him even more than usual.

Clarke stepped out onto the steps before seeing something.

“Is that…”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy watched as Clarke’s eyes slowly lit up with understanding and she slowly turned towards him, the moonlight only making her eyes more beautiful than before.

With every word she whispered, she played his heartstrings, making a harmony of emotion so gorgeous and deep that he couldn’t even deny its existence the way he’d done so many times before.

“You did this? For me?”

Bellamy swallowed his heart and nodded, looking at the ground to avoid staring as she walked towards the old rover.

But his eyes strayed and to avoid her, he watched as Murphy and Raven had a heated argument.

_ I’ve gotta talk to Murphy about this, _ he thought.

But then Emori jumped out of the car and yelled, “Clarke!”

His eyes were immediately drawn to Clarke as she caught the keys and slowly walked to the other side of the car, her hands roaming the hood of the car.

His breath hitched as soon as she shot him the most amazing smile and hopped in.

Bellamy slowly walked towards the car, watching her through the open window as she excitedly started the car.

He couldn’t help the smile that quickly appeared on his face.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke was about to say something to Bellamy when Echo walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Clarke looked down and really wished she could disappear into thin air when Bellamy kissed Echo.

Emori sat down next to Clarke as Murphy, Raven, and Monty climbed in.

Murphy hit the top of her head lightly and said, “Give us a ride, Griffin.”

He was obviously trying to distract her, but, at that moment, Clarke would do anything for a distraction.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy watched as Clarke drove away, and, even knowing she’d be coming back, he felt a small pang in his heart before he turned towards Echo, who was looking at him with so much love that it hurt him.

He softly smiled and kissed her, attempting to drown out his doubts.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke opened the windows, letting the wind drown out both her thoughts and the sounds coming from the back of Monty and Raven talking about science stuff and Murphy letting out increasingly loud sighs.

Occasionally, Clarke and Emori would exchange looks, but eventually, Clarke had to head back.

She parked the car and headed back into Raven’s, where the party was back in full swing.

Clarke headed back to the bar and ordered a scotch, neat, sitting down and drinking the bitter liquid.

Eventually, her sorrows were drowned out and she vaguely registered that the party was almost ending.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy watched as Clarke drank and drank, but Echo was there, and he was hoping Murphy was watching her. Obviously that wasn’t the case since he found her next to quite a few empty glasses.

“Clarke, come on. We’re gonna take you home,” he whispered into her ear as he lifted her into his arms.

He told Echo he was going to go drop off Clarke at home and put Clarke down in the back seat, where she immediately laid down.

Bellamy attempted to focus on driving, but even her almost silent, constant breaths were enough to raise his heartbeat just a little bit.

But with her not paying attention, Bellamy allowed every emotion he felt surface. Adoration. Worry.  _ Guilt _ .

For not being able to control himself around Clarke when he was dating Echo, who he loved.

They weren’t together. Him and Clarke. Not really. Not in the way they could’ve been all those years ago. And it wasn’t like they could be together now.

He moved on. She never had anything to move on from.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke kept her breaths even so Bellamy would think she was asleep.

She couldn’t talk to him right now. Not like this. Now when she had basically no impulse control. Not when she had just felt his heartbeat like it was her own and not someone else’s.

But she almost broke when she opened her eyes just a little bit and saw the way Bellamy was looking at her.

And then she almost broke again when she saw the worry etched in his otherwise-perfect face.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy took a shaky breath when he noticed Clarke’s eyes open.

To abate the unusual energy hanging in the air, he quickly said, “Hey, Clarke. I..You know how Raven and Murphy have been having more and more disagreements.”

He thought he saw Clarke release tension in her shoulders from the mirror, but it was dark and his eyes were probably just playing tricks on him.

Clarke slowly sat up and replied, “Yeah. I-don’t tell Murphy I told you this, but he kind of has a thing for Raven. A serious thing.”

Bellamy did his best to appear unaffected by the way the moonlight landed just on her lips and made him want to pull over and kiss her.

“How serious?” he asked, his voice gruff with withheld emotion.

“...He-might-love-her serious.”

Bellamy allowed one emotion and one emotion only to arise. Surprise.

“We have to get them together. I mean, Murphy is objectively like..really hot, and so is Raven,, and they'd make a great couple” Bellamy said.

Something flashed across her face before she said, “Bellamy. I can’t. I mean, it’s Murphy. Like he wouldn't catch on. Plus, they need to find their own way to each other.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke’s heart sunk as she watched disappointment come to his face and he said, “Yeah. Of course. I mean, that makes sense.”

They didn’t talk for the rest of the ride, and when Bellamy pulled up at Clarke’s, she quickly got out and didn’t even look back at Bellamy, because if she did...But she didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Return of the angst. I told you not to get used to it.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke quickly sat down on her bed, taking deep breaths and attempting to distract herself from anything she thought she saw on Bellamy’s face. And yet her heart broke, over and over again.

She reached for her phone when she realized that Bellamy had accidentally put his phone in her bag instead of hers.

Clarke decided it was more reasonable to not have her phone for a little bit than to make Bellamy drive all the way back here.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy got to his own house and took his phone...or Clarke’s.

Internally cursing, he looked down just as Murphy texted her.

 

  Cockroach: Griffin, how are you doing? didn’t break and tell bellamy yet, did you? cuz i have a bet with monty on the line, and i don’t intend to lose.

 

Bellamy’s heart began to thump as he wondered what exactly Murphy was referring to.

He held his breath, waiting for another text that would explain what the hell was going on with Clarke, but after a few minutes of nothing, he went inside.

Bellamy thought for a second about going back and giving Clarke her phone, but she was probably sleeping.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke woke to a pounding headache and the ringing of the phone. Blindly grabbing for it, Clarke knocked down her glass of water and watched as it shattered on the floor.

Groaning, she finally found the phone, answering it with a tired, ‘Hello’.

There were a few seconds of silence before someone answered, “Clarke? What are you doing with Bellamy’s phone?”

_ Echo,  _ Clarke quickly realized.

Clarke scrambled for a coherent sentence and ended with, “Bellamy accidentally put his phone in my bag last night and I fell asleep before I got the chance to call and tell him.”

A few more seconds passed until Echo said, weirdly happy, yet through what sounded like gritted teeth, “I can call your phone for you and tell him if you want. I just need your number.”

Clarke yawned and told Echo her number, thanking her before wearily eying the broken glass on the floor and deciding that she would just close her eyes for five minutes.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy was grading papers when his...Clarke’s phone rang.

He absentmindedly picked it up.

“Bellamy?” he heard Echo’s voice on the other end.

“Echo? Hey. Why are you calling Clarke’s phone this early?” Bellamy asked, slightly confused.

“I called your phone first and I offered to call you and tell you that you guys had accidentally switched phones,” Echo replied, her voice light and airy with a thread of something else laced in there.

“Oh! Yeah, thanks, Echo. I have to go. Grading papers and all. But I’ll be sure to give Clarke her phone back whenever we see each other again,” Bellamy said, not inclined to continue this conversation when he has so much work to do.

“Okay. I love you,” Echo offered.

Bellamy replied with simply, “Love you, too.”

He hung up, returning to his papers, blissfully unaware of the mess he had unintentionally caused.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke was unable to fall asleep, so instead, she got up. Rolling over, she stepped down.

Onto the broken glass.

Clarke let out a quick yelp as a huge piece of glass cut into her foot.

She looked down to see blood on the floor and a throbbing pain shot up her foot.

Clarke sat back down on her bed, her tears barely contained. She realized that she was gonna need someone to come over because she couldn’t walk to her bathroom without walking over more glass. Glancing at the clock, she knew it was too early for any of her friends to be up.

Except for Bellamy. 

Reluctantly, Clarke picked up Bellamy’s phone, clicking on her contact and calling him.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy was yet again interrupted by the ringing of Clarke’s phone.

Picking up the phone, he said, “Hello?”

“Bellamy?” he heard Clarke say, and even through the phone, he could tell something wrong.

His brows furrowed and he replied, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Well...I kind of have a huge piece of glass in my foot and I need someone to come help me,” Clarke said.

But the moment she said she was hurt, Bellamy was up.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Bellamy put down the phone and got his keys, running out of the door and driving to Clarke’s house.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After what seemed like an eternity, Clarke finally heard the door open.

“I’m in here!” Clarke yelled.

She heard Bellamy’s steps as he walked over to her, quickly taking in the scene and jumping into action.

He said, “Shouldn’t you take out the glass?”

Clarke shook her head no and a few tears shook loose.

“I don’t know if it severed any nerves or not, and I wrapped it up, so that should help with the bleeding” she whispered.

Clarke heard Bellamy quietly whisper ‘okay’ a few times before he walked over to her with his shoes still on and picked her up.

“Let’s get you to a doctor, Princess,” he told her.

He helped Clarke into his car, closing the door and jumping into the driver’s seat.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

If Clarke wasn’t in a lot of pain, she probably would’ve been more flustered at the prospect of being in Bellamy’s arms again, this time sober.

But all she could focus on was not letting out yelps of pain.

Her hands dug into the leather seat until she vaguely felt the car stop and felt Bellamy’s arms around her, gently lifting her.

They sat in the ER for around thirty minutes before Jackson got to them.

He quickly and efficiently stitched up her foot, prescribing her nothing but rest and maybe a day or two off from work. He ushered her out of the room to Bellamy, who was impatiently pacing until he saw her.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy immediately let out a sigh of relief when he saw Clarke, looking in infinitely less pain.

He rushed towards her and asked, “Everything’s okay?”

Instead of Clarke, Jackson answered, “Yeah, just make sure she doesn’t do too much walking for today. You also need to watch your foot to make sure you don’t get an infection from debris. You have the prescription for antibiotics, and over-the-counter painkillers should work, but if you need anything else, let me know.”

Clarke smiled at Bellamy and began to limp out of the ER to his car.

Bellamy quickly wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her.

He felt her shift a little bit so she was more comfortable, and he continued to lead her outside.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke did her best not to make Bellamy carry her, but her body decided that leaning into him just a little bit was going to be more comfortable.

And the heat of his body so close to hers did nothing to lessen her wants.

As soon as he opened the door, she got in the car, keeping her eyes on her wrapped foot.

And suddenly, she remembered that she still had to pick up the old rover that Bellamy had fixed up for her.

“Bell?” she quietly asked.

He looked at her with concern filling his eyes and she quickly added, “Can we go pick up the rover?”

She saw some of the tension release from his shoulders and he nodded, pulling out of the parking lot and driving to Raven’s house.


	5. Chapter 5

Bellamy turned into Raven’s driveway, parking next to the rover and quickly getting out to help Clarke.

He noticed the small smile that came to Clarke’s face when he helped her out, and he shot back what he hoped was not a goofy grin. Clarke ended up smiling even wider.

Clarke took out the keys when he remembered that he needed to give Clarke her phone back.

He reached into his pocket before he realized he forgot it at home.

He began to say something to her when Raven and Murphy shot out of the front door.

Raven was yelling at Murphy.

“John Murphy, I don’t care what you think of Zeke. He is not your boyfriend. I don't bring him to the house when you're here. Why do care so much?”

Murphy whispered something, but Bellamy didn't notice because Clarke had caught his attention as effortlessly as she was beautiful.

_ We should probably go, _ Clarke mouthed.

But her plans were thwarted by Raven saying, “Hey! Clarke, Bellamy. What are you guys doing here? What happened to your foot! Bellamy what did you do?”•

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke’s breath was stolen when Bellamy put his hands up with the dorkiest expression on his face.

Clarke quickly turned her attention to Murphy, who was giving her the most mischievous look he could muster.

Clarke dramatically rolled her eyes and said, “I stepped on some glass at like 6 in the morning, and the only person awake was Bellamy. So he took me to the doctor.”

Clarke heard Bellamy’s voice cut through the sound of songbirds.

“What is going on with you guys?”

Murphy gritted his teeth as Raven replied, “Nothing.”

Clarke was still suspicious, but she took the keys out and jumped into the driver’s seat.

Her eyes swept over the inside of the rover in the light of day before landing on Bellamy.•

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“I should probably head home,” Clarke said.

Bellamy spun to face her and he quickly added, “No way are you going home alone, Clarke. Knowing you, you’d be hobbling around if there isn’t someone to watch you.”

Clarke’s heart soared at the idea of Bellamy taking care of her, but she managed to keep a huge smile off her face and act nonchalant.

Clarke said bye to Raven & Murphy, pulling out of the driveway and occasionally looking at her mirror to the reflection of Bellamy’s car.

She quickly parked the car and got out, limping to the door before Bellamy came in after her, grumbling about how she wouldn’t let him help her out of the rover.•

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy helped Clarke to the couch and headed to her room, quickly cleaning up the floor amd hurrying back to her.

Clarke was sitting there skimming through the book Bellamy had gotten her for her 19th birthday, all those years ago. If he closed his eyes, he could see the way she smiled back then, freely and liberally, throwing her arms around him and burying her head in his neck.

Quickly, he came back to the present to see Clarke now, her smiles a little less genuine and her hugs strained.

But then she read something and let out a small laugh accompanied by a smile, clearly something he shouldn't have heard because this one reminded him of  _ his Clarke _ .

He cleared his throat and asked, “Hungry?”

Clarke’s eyes found his and for a second he thought she would see everything he felt.

And maybe he wanted her to see it.

But the moment was fleeting because she smiled at him and nodded, replying, “If you wouldn’t mind.”

Bellamy walked to the kitchen.•

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke could no longer concentrate after she had finally noticed the way Bellamy’s voice lilted slightly differently when he asked a question.

She watched him walk away and she slightly sat up, resting her head on the armrest before putting down the book and sighing.

Suddenly, her door burst open and Clarke jumped, turning to see Roan with quite a few grocery bags.

“Roan, what are you-” Clarke heard Bellamy say.

“Jackson told me. I assumed Bellamy was going to be here, so I got groceries for you because you never have any food in your house,” Roan explained.

Clarke wasn’t quite sure what to say, so she settled on, “How’s Jackson?”

Roan immediately flushed and grumbled, “Why would I know?”

Clarke could hear Bellamy’s almost silent laugh as he said, “You’re the one talking to him at...eight in the morning.”

Roan narrowed his eyes at Bellamy and put the bags down on the floor, leaving Clarke and Bellamy in silence.

His footsteps echoed in the room as he walked to the front door, closing it and grabbing the groceries.•

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy busied himself if only to avoid the thoughts running through his head.

But even cooking couldn’t clear his head.

_ What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t be in love with Clarke. Not when I have Echo. _

Frustrated, he finished the dish and took it out to Clarke, settling down on the end of the couch farthest away from her. He put on some mindless sitcom, attempting to drown his thoughts out.

But how could he when Clarke was sitting there being _Clarke_ and he had to do everything in his power to not gather her in his arms and never let go. •

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke did her best to focus on the show and her food and her blanket and  _ anything  _ but Bellamy.

Because it was only now that she was noticing how much of a mess his hair was. And how absolutely heart-wrenchingly handsome he looked.

Clarke’s mind immediately jumped to waking up next to him, hearing him call her Princess in his morning voice, his lips on hers.

Clarke’s heart began to race and she snuck a peek at Bellamy, a lopsided grin on his face.

She averted her eyes, but her mind had other plans.

_I’m a damn mess,_ she thought.•

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Bellamy. Do you have my phone?” Clarke asked when the episode was coming to an end.

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair and groaned.

“I knew I forgot to tell you something. I forgot it on the counter.”

Just as he finished his words, Bellamy’s phone rang.

He picked it up and greeted whoever was on the other side with a friendly hello.

“I can’t believe you, Bellamy. You’re at her house. What the hell?” Echo’s voice rippled through.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...so sorry.

Clarke saw Bellamy’s back straighten, his muscles taut as his eyes met hers. They were filled with something akin to fear.

“What’s going on?” Clarke whispered.

Bellamy simply dismissed her question with a wave of his hand, hurrying to the kitchen.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Once Bellamy was sure Clarke couldn’t hear him. he replied, “Echo, this isn’t what you think.”

“Then what is it, Bellamy. I believed you the first time, and _this_ is how I found out you lied to me?”

“Echo, I never lied! Clarke just got hurt and needed someone to take her to the doctor,” Bellamy whispered, scared that if he didn’t he would end up yelling.

“Then why are you still at her house, huh? Why is she picking up your phone? After you dropped her off at her house. You can see how bad this looks, right?” Echo replied, stubborn in her stance.

“Echo...I-where are you?” Bellamy asked, massaging his temple to rid his mind of the pounding that had begun in his head.

“I’m at your house.”

Bellamy immediately said, “Stay there. I’m coming to you.”

He barely heard the slight sigh of agreement from Echo before she hung up. He stuffed his phone in his pocket and rushed to where Clarke was.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke averted her eyes from the kitchen door when Bellamy came through it.

“I have to go,” he told her.

“Go? What’s wrong?”

“Echo thinks we’re sleeping together. Ridiculous, right?”

Rationally, Clarke new that he was dating Echo so he would never say it was anything but ridiculous. Knew that he would never cheat on Echo or anyone.

But her mind latched onto that one word.

Clarke gave Bellamy a small smile and replied, “Of course. I’ll be fine, go make this better.”

He brushed a kiss on her forehead before heading out, and as soon as the door closed, Clarke was done.

She pushed down every emotion, every vulnerability, that her heart contained.

She wasn’t going to be in love with him. Not anymore. Not now that she knew it would never happen.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The silence in the car was killing him. Thoughts swirled in his head and for the first time in what felt like forever, he turned on the radio.

The moment the first note hung in the air, Bellamy was transported back to the first day he spent without knowing that he would see Clarke again.

 

 _Counting days, counting days_ __  
_Since my love up and got lost on me_ __  
_And every breath that I’ve been takin’_ __  
_Since you left feels like a waste on me_ __  
_I’ve been holding on to hope_ __  
_That you’ll come back when you can find some peace_ __  
_'Cause every word that I’ve heard spoken_  
_Since you left feels like an hollow street_

 

His breaths were ragged, terrified of the emotion that was beginning to flood his brain.

 

 _I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind_ __  
_But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind_  
_Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side_

 _There must be something in the water_ __  
_'Cause everyday it's getting colder_ __  
_And if only I could hold you_  
_You'd keep my head from going under_

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 _Maybe I, maybe I’m just being blinded_ __  
_By the brighter side_ __  
_Of what we had because it’s over_  
_Well there must be something in the tide_

 _I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind_  
_But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind_  
_Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side_

 _There must be something in the water_  
_'Cause everyday it's getting colder_  
_And if only I could hold you_  
_You'd keep my head from going under_

Tears threatened and Clarke immediately turned off the radio.

She got up, a sharp pain shooting up her leg.

Clarke winced and continued through the pain. Picking up the plate, she headed to the kitchen to go wash dishes and distract herself from the hurt overtaking her every sense.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy let the last notes of the song float out into the air.

Parking the car, he sat for a moment, letting every nook and cranny of his emotion to surface.

He took a shallow breath before getting out of the car and walking into his house.

The moment the door closed, Echo said, “Bellamy.”

Turning, he looked at her, seeing no signs of her being distraught or concerned or anything but collected, just like she always was.

He felt a pang in his heart as he realized how much easier it was for him to read Clarke’s emotions.

She gestured for him to say something, but all he could do was sit down and put his head in his hands.

Echo scoffed and told him, with venom in her voice, “You love her. And you don’t have the guts to tell me or her or even yourself.”

Tears gathered at the edges of his vision and he looked up at Echo.

“You really believe I would do that to you? Yes, I love Clarke. She’s my best friend, of course I love her. But not the way I love you, Echo. I promise,” Bellamy replied.

He saw her process his words, every motion deliberate as she turned away from him.

“I love you, too. But I need time, Bellamy. Just...give me time,” she said.

Bellamy simply nodded, watching as she walked away. He caught only a small slip of her features, darkened by some invisible burden that Bellamy had placed upon her.

 _I’m a horrible person. I don’t even...what am I doing? I mess everything up. Everytime,_ Bellamy’s head screamed.

He picked up his phone, mindlessly calling someone when Clarke’s phone rang and he realized he had dialed her number. Instead, Bellamy called Murphy, asking him if he could go check up on Clarke around lunch time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Bruises by Lewis Capaldi...I'm thinking about incorporating songs into some more of the future chapters. What do you guys think?


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke’s hands were shaking from the strain of keeping her focus on the onions she was keeping.

At least she could blame the tears clouding her vision on the onions, even though she couldn’t blame the constant ache of her heart consuming her head on anything.

Clarke felt a throbbing pain and looked down to see that she had cut her finger.

Cursing under her breath, she put down the knife and headed to the bathroom.

Her tears cleared as if the physical pain diverted her attention from the twinge of pain she felt when she thought about Bellamy.

 _Ridiculous. That’s me,_ Clarke chastised.

She took out a bandage, washing her hand off and disinfecting it before she put it on.

Her eyes wandered to her reflection, tired and so obviously hurt and no way near the Clarke she remembered being. Nowhere near the Clarke that wasn’t in love with Bellamy.

If only she could go back to that girl.

Her hands played the beat of a song she thought she had long forgotten. Her mind went astray, replaying broken memories of everything she had been through.

Her dad used to sing it to her to help her fall asleep. Clarke’s mind grasped at nothing in an attempt to find the lyrics, and when she found nothing, her eyes fluttered open.

Tears gathered in her eyes, and she desperately tried to remember the way his voice sounded like when he sang to her.

Clarke took a shaky breath and walked out of the bathroom, focusing on anything and everything.

Love was slowly becoming a weakness Clarke could not bear.

Clarke took out her mom’s old scrapbook, full of pictures of Clarke when she was young.

Lightly sitting on her bed, Clarke turned to her favorite picture.

It was a picture of her when she was only 4 years old, happy and smiling. Her dad was behind the camera. She only wished he had been able to hug her for a moment longer.

God she had grown so much, even in the past year. Her heart had taken leaps and bounds, in some ways stronger, in others weaker, broken and healed so many times Clarke wasn’t sure she could put her own heart together again.

So her hands traced her silhouette, taking out her drawing book and beginning a sketch of her father, smiling, like she wanted to remember him.

She thought about what her father would tell her if he was here. How different of a person she would’ve been. If Clarke would still be in love with Bellamy.

But instantly, she knew. He was Bellamy, of course she would still be in love with him. How could she not be.

He was the one for her, but she wasn’t the one for him. And that was okay. It had to be.

Clarke startled when the doorbell rang, and she headed to the door, limping. The moment she opened the door, Murphy was a whirlwind, a bag of food in his hand and books from the library being thrown on the couch.

“Murphy, what the hell?” Clarke asked, momentarily distracted.

“Just making sure you’re still alive, as per Bellamy’s explicit instructions to check on you,” Murphy replied, heading to the kitchen.

Clarke followed him and jumped when he yelled, “Why is there already so much food in here? Did Bellamy do this? Why didn’t he tell me?”

“No, Roan brought over food. Why are you so concerned about this? I could always do with some extra food in my kitchen because I’m not gonna go grocery shopping for at least a month,” Clarke explained.

Under his breath, Murphy muttered, “Damn Roan and his incredible ability to make men and women alike swoon.” Louder, he continued, “Food is our thing.”

Clarke was just glad that he was lying because maybe he wouldn’t notice exactly what she was feeling.

“You can’t lie to me, either. It doesn’t work. I know all your tells,” she told Murphy.

He grumbled and threw out what Clarke was making, despite her protests, and mumbled, “It’s Raven.”

Clarke took a seat on the counter, looking down at her foot to make sure the bandage wasn’t bleeding through. She gestured for Murphy to continue, their multiple fights plaguing her mind.

“She...she’s doing nothing wrong. It’s just hard to know that if I ever said anything to her, I would ruin her relationship with Zeke.”

Zeke’s name was strained, so Clarke put up her glass of water in a mock toast and replied, “Cheers to being in love with people who are in relationships with someone else.”

Murphy scoffed and clinked his glass with hers.

Clarke watched as Murphy cooked, pain and love and guilt swirling in her head.

Clarke’s smile was slowly washed away, erased by a grimace.

She was ruining her friendship with Bellamy, or she was ruining Bellamy’s relationship with Echo. Or even both. All because of her stupid feelings.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy had returned to grading his students’ papers, his mind brimming with horribly inconsequential facts and gorgeously incorrect usages of words in an attempt to pad the essays.

He let himself drown in work, ready to give Echo time but not sure he could stand whatever this feeling was.

He didn’t technically lie to Echo, but it was more of a half truth than he was willing to feel okay about. But he was just protecting Echo. There was no use in breaking up with her if this was just some stupid crush that would pass in a few days. Or even a simple misconstruing of feelings on his part.

Hurting her like that would be stupid. He loved her. He was even thinking about asking her to move in with him before he moved back to Boston.

And now everything was a mess. All because of his stupid feelings.

Taking off his glasses, Bellamy rubbed his temple and incessantly clicked his pen, only making the dull ache in both his head and his heart worse.

He didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to take a step back and look at this objectively. Not that he could ever do that whenever it came to Clarke.

Clarke’s phone lit up with a notification and Bellamy looked over, seeing a text from Roan.

    Broody Ice King: just thought i’d let you know that if murphy tries to call me, you should tell him he can blame the love of your life for all the food i brought over.

His brows furrowed in confusion.

Groaning, Bellamy went back to his grading, unable to think about this without feelings he didn’t want filling his head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's my baby Murphy. Yes, it's my other baby, angst. I'm sorry.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was originally going to be longer, but I split it so I could give you guys Chapter 8, so Chapter 9 should be coming out soon!

Clarke and Murphy ate in silence, both of them caught up in their thoughts. Impossible hopes filled Clarke’s head and then were immediately crushed by logic. Maybe she was wrong about the head and the heart. Maybe they were bound to push each other away, breaking each other slowly until eventually, one of them is crushed.

Maybe she had already been crushed too many times to be fixed.

Bellamy might tell her there was nothing to fix. But he didn’t know everything.

Bellamy didn’t see her face the moment she realized how horribly, ridiculously evident it was how much she loved him and how much she knew she couldn’t.

Murphy’s voice jolted Clarke out of her spiral of self-pity.

“This is stupid. We’re stupid. We’re sitting here, thinking about how horrible it is that we’re in love with people who could never love us. We should be...out, doing things like every other twenty-something-year old alive! We’re going to the carnival to eat incredibly unhealthy and overpriced food and ride stupid rides,” Murphy told her.

Clarke began to protest when Murphy shot her a look, so she murmured, “Fine.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy was now only mildly sulking when someone knocked on his door.

He took off his glasses and opened the door to Raven, her arms crossed as she impatiently tapped her fingers against her arm.

“What are you doing here?” Bellamy asked.

Raven immediately jumped into action, pushing Bellamy towards his room and saying, “Go change, we’re going to the carnival.”

“What-Raven. What the hell is going on?” Bellamy asked, catching himself before he fell.

“I heard about Echo. And I knew that you would be drowning yourself in work and trying to avoid everyone. So I came here to save you from EBS,” Raven explained.

He quirked an eyebrow and said, “EBS?”

“Excessive Brooding Syndrome. And just because we slept together once seven years ago doesn't mean you have The Power of Ex’s over me, so don't even  _ try _ to use that eyebrow quirk to your advantage, Blake. Plus, Monty and Harper might be there later tonight.”

Bellamy chuckled and went into his room, grateful for a distraction.

He quickly changed into something slightly more presentable and grabbed his jacket and his keys on his way out.

The silence in his car once again had his mind wandering to that text.

Bellamy had always been a little oblivious, he knew that. But could Clarke really have fallen in love without him noticing?

On second thought, he was probably just overthinking this. It was probably some kind of inside joke they had. Clarke wasn’t in love with anyone. She was his best friend. More than that, but the only word he could think to use right now was best friend. Anything else...anything else would end up hurting someone.

Bellamy pulled into the parking lot, Raven pulling in right next to him. Bellamy told himself to enjoy this, to not get distracted by the mounting evidence that Clarke…

Shaking his head, Bellamy stepped out of the car and followed Raven to the ticket booth.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke had been at the carnival for a few hours, the exhilaration and bright aura of the day doing nothing the steal away the thoughts that haunted her mind.

As the sunlight began to melt into the horizon, Clarke noticed a familiar frame in the distance, her heart immediately aching with unspoken wants and needs.

She saw Murphy’s phone light up with a notification, and before she could see what it was, he snatched up his phone from the table they had been sitting at.

He quickly read and shot a crooked smile her way.

“This isn’t exactly the best night scene in the city. We should go to a bar or something. End the night drunk. The best way, if you ask me,” Murphy rambled.

“Murphy, I’m on pain meds and I don’t think drinking is a good idea,” Clarke stated.

He groaned a little and sighed, standing up.

“Well fine then. Let’s at least go on the Ferris Wheel before we leave.”

Clarke smiled and got up, shifting her weight upon her uninjured leg.

Murphy kept a close eye on her, making sure she didn't hurt herself but also giving her space.

The lines had been steadily dwindling throughout the day, and there were only a few people ahead of them in line.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy was wiped out and ready to leave, but Raven insisted they ride the Ferris Wheel before they left.

Walking towards the line, he noticed Murphy over there, a girl with eerily familiar blonde hair by his side.

Under his breath, Bellamy growled, “I’m gonna kill Murphy.”

Apparently, Clarke heard him, because she turned to face him, her smile lightening a little, brighter than the lights of the carnival.

His heart only skipped a beat or two this time, and when Murphy turned to see him, he immediately said, “Please don’t kill me. Clarke was having feelings and I thought she needed a break.”

Rolling his eyes and setting his jaw, he glares at Murphy.

“Fine. I won’t kill you. But only because Raven would kill me after, and Clarke would probably help.”

Raven marches to Murphy’s side, hitting him upside the head and then looping an arm around him.

And all the while, the laugh Clarke seemed to have been holding in bubbled out.

“If anyone’s killing Murphy, it’s me, Bellamy,” Raven stated, warranting Murphy to throw Raven over his shoulder.

“Try and kill me like this, Reyes,” Murphy teased, a smirk on his face.

“I am now positioned so I can literally stab you in the back, John. Remember, I’m smarter than you,” Raven deadpanned.

He seemed to take Raven’s words into consideration and then put her down, a smug smile on Raven’s face counteracting the color receding from her cheeks.

“You guys don’t mind if Reyes and I go together, right?” Murphy asked.

Clarke looked at Bellamy, and he simply shrugged at her.

“Yeah, that’s fine with us,” Clarke told Murphy.

Clarke and Bellamy got on, an uncomfortable silence stretching over them like a blanket in the middle of summer.

Bellamy kept his hand from taking its usual position intertwined with Clarke’s, even though it took every ounce of concentration he had.

As soon as they reached the top, his eyes flickered to Clarke’s face, watching as a small smile flickered across her face.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke was only a little suspicious that this was just a ploy so Murphy could hang out with Raven some more, but, no matter how hard it was to be sitting so close to Bellamy and not be touching him, Clarke kept her eyes to the scenery unfolding before her.

As they got higher and higher, Clarke scooched as far as she could to the edge without fear of falling taking control of her body.

She breathed in, suddenly aware of just how cold it was.

_ First day of fall _ , she remembered, shivering a little.

She felt Bellamy lightly put his jacket around her and she looked at him.

He simply shrugged at Clarke, and her heart did a little dance in her chest.

_ Unfair. Why do I have to be in love with him, and why does he have to be like this? He doesn’t love me, so why does my heart try to convince itself it does?  _ she thought.

“You didn’t have to do tha-” Clarke was cut off as the Ferris Wheel jolted to a stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, a cliffhanger. I'm sorry, I had to. Only mild angst today, but still angst.


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke’s heart nearly continued forward with the momentum of the Ferris Wheel, no matter how slow it was. 

She kept her eyes on her knuckles, gripping the bar.

She watched, frozen, as Bellamy’s hand fluttered closer to hers, hovering close.

“We’ll be fine, Clarke,” she heard him say.

But that was the thing. Clarke wasn’t just scared of being this high up for so long, she was scared that the slight fear would make her admit  _ everything. _

And she couldn’t do that. Now when she was just beginning to think that she could do this. Be with Bellamy when she wasn’t with him in the way she had hoped she would be when he came back.

_ No, I am not going down this train of thought just because I have to spend a few extra minutes with Bellamy. Not happening,  _ Clarke told herself.

Clarke released a quiet breath when the Ferris Wheel started up again, jolting her heart back to life.

She steadily relaxed her hands, burying them instead in the jacket’s pockets.

The moment they reached the ground, Clarke jumped off and walked to where Raven and Murphy were, not bothering to look back to see if Bellamy was following because she knew he was. He was always right there. She hated it.

Clarke allowed herself to be drawn in by small talk, not even noticing when Monty and Harper joined in until Roan and Jackson broke the monotonous rhythm everyone seemed to have settled into.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy greeted Roan and Jackson with a warm smile, keeping his eyes a little on Clarke to see if she had any reaction to Roan’s presence so he could get a clue on what that  _ damn _ text continuously nagging his mind meant.

She simply side hugged him and smiled a little, showing no indication that there was some sort of secret between them.

Bellamy internally chastised himself for thinking anything of that text and watched as Lexa and Gina walked up. He glanced at Clarke and she glanced at him, both of them still a little awkward around their exes.

Bellamy looked at them, his eyes immediately being drawn to a ring on Gina’s finger.

His mind immediately jumped to a conclusion that was confirmed when Gina, after greeting everyone, put up her hand, still intertwined with Lexa’s, as if to showcase the ring.

“We’re engaged!” Gina exclaimed, a huge smile lighting up her face as she looked back at Lexa.

Lexa laughed and quickly kissed her before bringing her gaze back to everyone, looking for reactions.

It took a few seconds for the information to really sink into everyone’s pores, but when it did, they all exploded into congratulations.

He watched as Clarke released Gina from a hug, the grin on her face entangled with something bitter as lemons.

She returned to her spot by his side, still farther than she used to be.

“Hey, you okay?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke swallowed before looking up at him and nodding.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke was decidedly not okay. She was happy for Lexa and Gina, but she also wondered if she would be alone her entire life, no one by her side the way they were for each other.

But no one needed to know that, especially not Bellamy. 

So Clarke lied.

Lexa said, “What about you guys? How’s life going?”

“The usual. Our parents are asking how much longer we’re gonna make them wait for grandchildren,” Monty joked.

Clarke didn’t miss the way Harper’s hand fluttered across her stomach quickly, and she looked up at Bellamy to see if he’d noticed.

He was already looking at her, his eyebrow quirked and his lips slightly upturned.

Their silent conversation was cut off when Clarke noticed Roan and Murphy looking at her.

She tried to keep her blush at bay as she wrapped herself in the jacket and looked at her feet.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy’s expression quickly turned neutral when he noticed Roan and Murphy looking at them.

Murphy cleared his throat, because apparently the group had all taken to looking between Bellamy and Clarke, and said, “Hey, Bellamy. You don’t mind dropping off Clarke, right? Apparently….uh….Zeke...dropped Raven off at your house and I brought Clarke here. Wouldn’t really make any sense if I dropped Clarke off at her house when it was on your way, too.”

“Yeah. Sure. If that’s cool with Clarke,” he looked at Clarke expectantly, and she seemed to not have noticed because when she did answer, it was hurried.

“Of course it’s cool with. Why wouldn’t it be cool with me.”

He watched Clarke look down at her watch and tell him, “It’s getting late and you have work tomorrow. You wanna go?”

Bellamy nodded and walked next to Clarke to where his car was parked and getting in the car, letting Clarke buckle her seatbelt before he pulled out of the parking lot.

Bellamy kept his focus on the GPS, although the directions to Clarke’s house were essentially ingrained in his memory at this point and he really only needed it for the first five minutes.

Clarke laughed a little and said, “You drive like my grandmother, Bellamy.”

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Bellamy’s response tugged at her heartstrings.

“Well, maybe I just want to keep the precious cargo safe.”

He was joking, she knew that, but her mind did what it always did. Read far too much into stupid little things he said.

She pressed her entire body against the seat as discreetly as she could.

“It’s weird that our exes are getting married, isn’t it?” she asked, trying to distract herself.

“A little. But I’m happy they found their own way to each other. It’s nice,” Bellamy responded, his voice light.

“And what about that thing with Harper? You noticed it, right?” Clarke asked.

It took Bellamy a beat to answer before he told her, “Yeah. You don’t think...nah. Maybe they’re just thinking about it.”

“Yeah. Maybe. I guess it’s better for us not to make assumptions.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bellamy was slow in his reactions, making sure not to miss a beat. He should probably have told Clarke about what had happened with Echo, but she wasn’t asking, so she probably didn’t care.

Not that she should. It was his relationship, and he and Clarke weren’t in that place now. Or ever really.

Thinking back, they had never really discussed their relationships with each other. It was as if they had created some unspoken rule to not talk about those things.

And now here he was, wanting to tell Clarke all about his feelings. Not that he could even if they did talk about that stuff.

He’d end up revealing how in love he was with her.

_ A phase. Misread feelings. Shut it,  _ he told his mind.

Echo. That’s where he needed to keep his mind. Fixing whatever mess he had created with her. He could fix it. He wasn’t going to give up on their relationship now.

_ But Clarke, _ his head whispered, a constant stream of memories flooding his senses as he dropped her off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I had to tease everyone with that setup. And this chapter is starting to build up a few other relationships! Yes, I'm rarepair trash. Lexa x Gina & Roan x Jackson in one fic!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do a chapter for Halloween because I had a really cute idea! Hope you guys like it!

Clarke felt horrible for missing so many days of work at the clinic, but she knew if she went, Gina would call Bellamy and Bellamy would come to the clinic and then she would have  _ feelings _ again, so instead she did some of the paperwork Gina had faxed over.

She began to settle into a rhythm, occasionally reminding herself to breathe in between sending furious emails to people.

For once, she wasn’t annoyed when someone called, but maybe it had something to do with the name flashing on the screen.

“Clarke? Where are you?” he asked as soon as Clarke began to greet him.

She quickly realized what day it was, and, cursing under her breath, she got up, nearly spilling her coffee.

“I’m on my way, sorry. I got caught up in work,” she hastily explained, putting her house phone on speaker and throwing it on the couch.

She could practically hear his inner thoughts as he chuckled, probably thinking about how this was  _ so Clarke _ .

To be honest, Clarke had wanted to forget, wanted Bellamy to forget. Because truthfully every time she saw him it was like the ache in her chest grew exponentially.

But it was Bellamy, and this was a tradition, she couldn’t just bail on him.

She changed into her costume while she rambled about work to Bellamy and Bellamy rambled to her about his students.

Once she was done, Clarke hung up and rushed to her car, dropping a bowl of candy outside her door and keeping a lookout for kids on the streets as she drove.

She took out the spare key she had to Bellamy’s and opened the door, hiding the yawn that threatened.

Bellamy was already on the couch, dressed up, popcorn and quite a few DVDs on the table as well as Netflix queued up on the tv.

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Bellamy was expecting Clarke to sit next to him, as was her preferred space on the couch every Halloween, and when she didn’t, he tried not to let his smile falter.

Clarke scrambled for the remote just when Bellamy reached out for it and put on Scream, despite Bellamy’s protests.

Clarke had a dangerous glint in her eyes, more dangerous in the sense that it made him want to brush the wisps of hair that shook loose from her tight bun back and kiss her until neither of them could think.

She said matter-of-factly, “Don’t be such a purist, Bellamy. Slasher movies may not be cinematic masterpieces but they’re entertaining.”

She wasn’t wrong per say, but he wasn’t about to protest for fear that she would leave.

Once the movie had begun, the doorbell rang, marking the beginning of the flow of trick-or-treaters throughout the night.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Even though she didn’t need to, Clarke couldn’t help but follow Bellamy to the door whenever it rang, if only to watch him fret over checking and double checking for kids with allergies and coo over some of the younger kids’ costumes.

The third time, Bellamy shot a lopsided grin her way as he put down the bowl of candy.

“You know, you don’t have to follow me to the door every time. I’m sure it gets boring.”

Clarke shrugged and told him the excuse she had readied. “I just like seeing all the costumes. They’re all so cute.”

Bellamy laughed and sat back down in the middle of the couch, beckoning Clarke with the sounds of screams coming from the tv.

When the doorbell rang, however, Clarke beat him to the door, grabbing the candy, plastering a smile on her face, and opening the door to see quite possibly the  _ cutest  _ little baby dressed as a pumpkin and an equally cute toddler dressed as a bumble bee.

Kneeling down so she was at eye level with the toddler, she put out the bowl of candy.

“You guys have some of the best costumes ever, so I’ll let you take  _ two _ pieces of candy of your choice if you want,”

As the toddler dug through the bowl, Clarke looked up at Fox.

“Hey, Clarke. I haven’t seen you in forever!” Fox exclaimed, side hugging her with her baby falling asleep in her arms.

Clarke was sure her face was full of complete and utter adoration as Fox introduced her kids, the bumblebee named aptly Bea and the pumpkin Pierce.

She heard Bellamy’s footsteps as he said, “Clarke, what is taking you  _ so _ long?”

“I love your costumes too. Really cute,” Fox told Clarke, just as Pierce began to cry. 

Shooting them an apologetic look, and waving at Bellamy, Fox took Bea’s hand and walked to one of the other houses, rocking her body to lull Pierce to sleep.

Clarke was about to close the door when a group of kids ran up to the house, yelling ‘Mr. Blake’.

Both of them had to work together to get everyone candy quickly, but one little girl hung back, pulling at Clarke’s dress.

“Are you Mr. Blake’s girlfriend?” she asked, a little shy.

Clarke felt her face heat up as she stumbled for words.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The moment Bellamy heard Reese say those words, a blush crept up on him and he cleared his throat, not risking a glance at Clarke.

“No. She’s just a friend, Reese. You remember me talking about Ms. Griffin here being a doctor like you want to be,” he told her.

Confusion flashed across Reese’s face as she looked up at Clarke.

“But...you talk about Ms. Griffin the way my dad talks about my mom. You guys are even dressed as Hades and Persephone!” Reese exclaimed, her smile bright as she was clearly excited about remembering the Greek myths Bellamy had taught the kids that came to visit from the elementary school.

Bellamy obviously didn’t notice that Clarke had dressed as Persephone, and it was only now that he noticed how obvious her costume was.

He simply smiled at Reese, ruffling her hair and telling her she should catch up with the other kids.

Turning to Clarke, he cleared his throat, running a hand over his face and muttering, “Sorry about her. Reese is a sweetheart, but you know kids. They misread situations all the time.”

Clarke nodded, rushing back to the couch, returning to the end of it instead of closer to the middle where they were sitting before.

Bellamy couldn’t help but wish Reese hadn’t said anything because there was obviously something going on with her.

Maybe with him a little, too. Maybe he was in love with her. But it wasn’t anything. It didn’t mean anything. At least not to Clarke. He'd get over it and he and Echo would be okay...they had to be.

He sat on the opposite side of the couch, starting the movie, even if he couldn’t pay attention to anything but the expression on her face, one he couldn’t quite place. And then think about Clarke with her own kids. Clarke with his kids. Clarke with  _their_ kids.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Clarke stared at the screen, quelling the urge to move closer to him so she could feel the heat that Bellamy radiated.

She kept her eyes on the tv, determined to fight the blush that kept returning to her face whenever she let her mind wander to Reese’ words.

_ You talk about Ms. Griffin the way my dad talks about my mom, _ played in her head.

She hated how happy that made her, to know Bellamy talked about her fondly. She knew he did, but hearing the words, spoken in that context, it gave Clarke a hope she couldn’t bear to harbor in her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I'm feeling soft today. I threw in a little bit of angst there at the end, and of course, I went with Reese and I thought I'd be nice to start doing little updates on other characters! Bellamy is coming to terms with his feelings for Clarke, but he still thinks it’s a phase! And he feels so guilty about being with Echo, but he doesn't want to break up with her because he doesn't think it's fair to her, but he knows being with her isn't fair to her either. He's gonna start coming to terms with really everything and making some decisions soon.


	11. Chapter 11

When someone knocked on her door, she knew it was Bellamy. No one else came to her house unannounced unless Bellamy was the one who sent them.

She opened the door, fully expecting to be greeted by worried brown eyes and a mess of curls.

Instead, she was met by Wells.

For a second, she was frozen, but then Wells grinned and said, “Hey, Clarke. Missed me?”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Wells.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, only mildly confused, until she realized what month it was, her smile dropping a little.

Wells solemnly nodded, coming in, surveying Clarke’s house for any new additions, and she didn’t miss the way his eyes hung on the new painting resting on the mantle.

Clarke went to the kitchen and asked, “How are the wife and kids?”

She heard him chuckle and answer, “They’re doing great. In fact…” he walked into the kitchen behind her. “I thought you should be the first to know. Since Iliana is starting school soon, we decided we were gonna move back here.”

She turned around to face him, her grin widening.

“You are? Wells, that’s great. That’s...amazing!” She hugged him again. “I’ve missed you, you know. I assume you’re obviously moving back for me and not the amazing school’s around here.”

Wells laughed. “Yeah. Just you.”

Clarke hugged him for a second more before letting go and turning to get out the coffee she’d been making for them and handed him a mug.

“You guys gonna go house hunting while you’re here? Or just stay in one of the places Jaha left you guys?” she asked, waiting for the coffee to cool down a little before she took a sip.

He answered, “Into one of Dad’s places. We figured out the, um, the one near Arkadia Street is probably the best for us. Big, but not too big. Since we’ve been talking about having more kids. Maya wants to adopt.” A smile was on his face as he said the words, his gaze a little glazed over as he no doubt thought about Maya.

She tried not to laugh at the way he shook his head and tried to change the topic.

“What about you? Any news? A certain Be-boyfriend, perhaps?” he asked. He was very obviously fishing for something he thought he knew.

Clarke snorted. “Boyfriend. Right. Definitely. No, I don’t have a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend, before you ask. I am painfully single. Apparently my workaholic tendencies scare off a lot of potential suitors.”

Wells rolled his eyes and shot back, “Really, Clarke? You’re trying to keep you & Bellamy being together a secret.”

She nearly choked on her coffee. She felt her face heat up as she stammered, “What? we’re not-how...we’re not together. He has a girlfriend.”

He seemed taken aback and was about to say something when the bell rang. She hurried out of the kitchen, thanking the universe silently for the distraction.

Maybe she did that too soon. Or maybe she was stupid for expecting any less besides the ridiculous timing of Bellamy knocking on her door.

She heard Wells come up behind her, and she was surprised when they greeted each other with something along the lines of mutual respect and maybe even friendship.

Both of them looked at Clarke at the same time, and she was sure she still had remnants of a blush on her face. Wells seemed to notice and took the chance to ask Bellamy a question.

“So, I hear you have a girlfriend.”

She had the urge to clap a hand over Wells’ mouth and tell him to  _ shut the hell up. _ But then she reconsidered. This was a normal conversation, right? She needed to make sure Bellamy didn’t notice how uncomfortable she was at the subject.

Bellamy nodded. “Her name’s Echo. We’ve only been together a few months, but, um...nevermind.”

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He wasn’t sure he should mention his relationship troubles to Wells, especially since Clarke seemed to close off whenever he mentioned Echo.

“Didn’t know you were coming out a little early this year. Then again, we are scheduled for snow earlier than usual, so I guess it makes more sense. It’s good to see you,” Bellamy told him.

Wells grinned and replied, “Not just the snow, truthfully. Maya & I are planning on moving back. We’ve picked out a place and everything.”

“That’s amazing, Wells. How long will it take for you guys to be fully moved up here?”

“Before the month is over. We brought most of our stuff here, but we wanna give Iliana a chance to say goodbye to her friends and stuff. Grandparents, too.”

Clarke stammered, “Um, yeah, makes sense. You guys want anything else? I can make some more coffee for you, Bellamy.”

Bellamy turned to face her, quirking an eyebrow. “How much have you been walking on that foot? You know what Jackson said. Really, Clarke, do we just need someone with you at all times?”

Something seemed to give way on Clarke’s face as her expression softened and she joked, “Yeah, maybe we do.”

Clearing his throat, Wells broke in, “I think I’m gonna head out. Don’t wanna leave Maya with Iliana too long.”

Clarke tore her gaze from Bellamy’s as she nodded at Wells, hugging him one more time.

Bellamy politely said goodbye to Wells, turning back to face Clarke.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out.

Confusion passed over Clarke’s face.

She asked, “For what?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Just, um, what Reese said on Halloween. You haven’t called or texted since, and I thought you might be uncomfortable or something. Look, I don’t…”

_ Think of her that way? Of course you think of her that way,  _ his mind chastised.

“No! What? No. I’ve just been busy is all. I’m not uncomfortable or anything,” she hurried to say, yet, despite her words, she squirmed under his gaze. It was glaringly obvious how uneasy she was.

He shot a tight smile her way. “I should go.”

Clarke stepped closer and hesitated for a moment before resting a hand on his chest.

“Don’t go. Please,” she muttered, still not meeting his gaze. “What...is something still up with you and Echo?”

He was confused at her bringing up the subject, but he answered, “Yeah. She just...she needs time I guess. She thinks…”  _ that I’m in love with you and I can’t admit it to anyone. And she’s right,  _ his mind supplied. But his voice continued, “She thinks that I’m not in a place right now to be with her.”

Her mouth twisted into a frown and she asked him, “Are you?”

Bellamy simply shrugged in response.

“I think so. I...I hope so. It’s just stress of the midterms coming up and stuff. The history department keeps having debates on choosing questions and stuff,” he explained away.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

_ Stress. Just stress, _ Clarke assured herself, nodding.

Suddenly, she remembered that her hand still lay on his chest, and she let her hand drop to her side.

“You know, if you have so much work, you don’t need to check up on me. I’m fine. I’m an adult and I can take care of myself. Don’t worry so much.”

Bellamy’s brows furrowed as Clarke took a step back. “Of course I’m gonna worry about you, Princess. You’re...you’re my best friend. I care about you.”

Clarke smiled a little. “I know. But here. You’ve checked up on me. I’m not dead. Go. Be an amazing teacher, shaping the future.”

He barely had time to protest before Clarke ushered him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! What exactly is significant about november will be revealed ~soon~, promise! <333 Thank you for readinnnggggg.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short lil chapter for you guys, but it's really important!

Bellamy did just as Clarke said. He may have channeled some of her work ethic, too. He got the entire history department to agree on everything for the midterms. Smiling, he sat down to _finally_ watch that documentary he had been meaning to watch for ages.

Until someone rang his doorbell. Four times. In under four seconds.

Grumbling, Bellamy got up, unlocking the door and letting whoever the hell was interrupting him in.

Murphy came in, a weird kind of sadness on his face. Something akin to anger, but not quite. He threw a bag on the sofa, his movements surprisingly controlled compared the easy way he usually walked.

“Murphy, what the hell?”

He didn’t answer, simply taking out an actual Xbox from his bag and set it up.

A frown twisted his expression as he tried to plug in something.

Murphy grumbled, “How old is your TV, Blake? It’s worse than my grandma’s was.”

“First of all, Sinclair is the one who bought it for her. Second of all, your grandma just _really_ likes TV.”

“Shut up.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Bellamy retorted, “You came to my house, insulted my TV, and now you’re telling _me_ to shut up?”

Murphy’s jaw twitched a little and he swayed as he tried to stand up, and suddenly it became all too clear that he was _drunk_. It was barely three in the afternoon. And John Murphy was fucking drunk.

“What bar?”

His head whipped and he spat out, “What?”

Bellamy sighed and repeated, his words more enunciated now, “What bar, Murphy? I assume you took a cab here, so I’m gonna need to know what bar to tell Raven to go to so she can pick up your car.”

He didn’t say anything more, just continued to focus on his Xbox which made Bellamy quirk an eyebrow because Drunk Murphy was never this quiet.

“Why?”

After a few moments, he muttered, barely audibly, “She...I….We’re not talking.”

This wasn’t a surprise to Bellamy, Raven and Murphy had gotten into plenty of fights over the years, but it never lasted. “Okay but….I still don’t understand why you’re at my house with a bag.”

Murphy’s jaw twitched. “I’m crashing here for the night until I’m sober enough to start looking for a new place.”

“Sorry, _new place_? What stupid thing did you do this time, Murphy, that was enough for Raven to kick you out?”

“Why does _everyone_ always assume I was the one who did something? I get I’m the screw up of this friend group, but that doesn’t make Raven perfect,” Murphy snapped.

Hurt was evident on his face, and Bellamy couldn’t remember a time before this when Murphy’s usual mask of snark and sarcasm wasn’t on. “That’s not what I meant.”

Murphy huffed and ran a hand over his face, massaging his temple.

“I told her I thought her being with Zeke wasn’t a good idea.”

“...Why? That’s...really? You had to have known she wouldn’t have reacted well to that. Zeke is a great guy and Raven really likes him.”

“I _know_ that. He’s...he’s perfect. And I’m me.” Muttering, he added, “It was stupid of me to think I would ever be enough for her.”

“I...Why are you...What’s going on with you? Did you…” _Was Clarke right? Are you in love with Raven?_ Bellamy’s mind added.

“I didn’t tell her. At least, not directly. But I think she knows. She _has_ to know. I’m in love with her. I mean...I told her in so many words. Maybe not the best words...fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck _fuck_. What did I do? Oh my god.”

Bellamy’s eyebrows furrowed, and he grabbed some coffee, handing the mug to him.

“Sober up, Murphy. And you...why don’t you just...tell her, Murphy? That you’re in love with her? This moving out nonsense, it’s ridiculous. I mean, come on,” Bellamy told him.

Murphy looked up at him, heat in his eyes, “I can’t tell her because...because...because she’s _Raven_ . You know her. You know how...how absolutely _Raven Reyes_ she is. How can I tell her that I, John fucking Murphy, am in love with her? I don’t even know what she would say. And I’ve already lost her. I can’t do it again. Even if we were...more, I'll mess it up, I will. Because everyone knows how absolutely _John Murphy_ I am.”

Bellamy knew how he felt. His heart reached out and coiled around his words, barely needing to stretch or compress them for the words to fit in the hole left in his soul. “Murphy…”

“Raven and I weren’t made to fall back together like you and Clarke were, Bellamy. Just...please. Let me...I can’t.”

He nodded after a few moments, watching as Murphy finished off his coffee and rested the mug on the table.

Bellamy saw flashes of hurt fly across Murphy’s face every once in a while, and he made a resolve. He had to break up with Echo. It wasn’t fair to Echo, or him, for them to still be dating if Bellamy really was in love with Clarke.

And he was. He definitely was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some murven angst? yes. don't worry, bellarke angst to come <3 <3 <3  
> thank you for reading! y'all are the best.


	13. Chapter 13

Bellamy had rehearsed, over and over again, the short speech he had outlined.

_ You have meant so much to me, Echo. And I love you, I do. But I don’t think I can be with you in the way we deserve. And it would be unfair to both of us for us to stay together. So I think we should break up. _

He was nervous. But there was no time like the present. The longer he waited, the more it would hurt. Bellamy swallowed and texted her, hopping in the car when she confirmed that she was home and okay for visitors.

The short drive was filled by the pulsing of Bellamy’s heart and his shaky breath. Even when he was in front of her house, he stayed in the car for a few minutes, his fingers slowly tightening around the steering wheel, the circulation being cut off and the color draining from his fingers as they paled. 

Blood rushed back as soon as he let go of the steering wheel, but it seemed as if the blood had come straight from his head because he felt lightheaded and he realized that he’d been holding his breath.

“Come on, Bellamy. You’re gonna do this,” he muttered to himself, taking a deep breath and ringing the doorbell.

Echo opened the door quickly, much happier than Bellamy expected.

“Hey. I need to-”

Echo threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close, peppering kisses on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry about what I said. Thank you for giving me the time. I was actually going to come talk to you later today.”

Bellamy pulled himself away, looking at her inquisitively. “You did?”

She nodded and opened the door, beckoning him inside and pouring out coffee.

“Echo-”

She cut him off. “I know. You’re gonna say it’s not my fault and that I had every right to be suspicious, but just...let me apologize. I’m sorry.”

Bellamy kept trying to speak, but Echo would cut him off, and Bellamy was so confused he never got the chance to put his word in.

And then Echo was saying, "I just...you know sometimes I get  _ really _ insecure because you are the first good guy I've dated. The first one who's treated me well. I just-" Echo broke off to take a dramatic breath. "It was stupid of me to think that you would  _ ever  _ hurt me like that. Date me when you're in love with someone else. I know you, and you're too good of a man to do that."

Bellamy felt like a  _ dick _ . And then Echo was trying to kiss him and he felt nothing but guilt, guilt, guilt. Yet again, he pulled Echo off of him.

“We shouldn’t -” Bellamy cut himself off, taking a heavy breath and standing up quickly. “I...I need to go.”

He left her on the couch and jumped into his car, his knuckles once again turning white as he clutched the steering wheel, just barely remembering that it was actually for  _ steering _ .

He found himself in front of Clarke’s house and cursed under his breath, sitting there for a few minutes before noticing that Clarke’s door was opening and driving away.

Bellamy rolled down the windows, despite the fact that it was freezing outside. The cold bit of the wind was a welcome distraction, the sound filling the car and drowning out his own thoughts. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but the landscape shifted from an occasional spattering of houses to rolling hills and animals grazing, with only buildings that were far in the distance atop hills and in valley-like corners.

His mind drew him to Octavia and Ilian’s farm, and he was grateful to see that she was outside tending to something.

Octavia turned at the sound of his car, and was momentarily confused before dropping a paintbrush back into the paint can and running towards his car. She was practically bouncing by the time Bellamy was out of his car, leaping into his arms for a hug.

Bellamy’s guilt melted a bit, and he gently hugged her back, grinning when she squealed and lifted her legs, forcing him to tighten his grip so she didn’t fall. She pushed away from him.

“I was wondering when you were coming over again, Bell. What’s the point of you living closer if I never get to see you?” she chastised, sounding a bit like their mother. “What is the reason for this surprise visit?”

Octavia ushered him inside as he explained, “Been sort of confused lately. Thought a visit with my favorite sister might help clear things up in my mind.”

She laughed. “I’m your only sister, silly. And confused? Confused about what? Oh, romantically? Because I can help with that. I have plenty of people who’d be interested in you.”

“Okay, first of all,  _ dork _ , I don’t know why every time I visit you ask if you can set me up with someone when I absolutely know 'someone' is definitely Clarke. Second of all,  _ I have a girlfriend _ , O,” That last part was just a reminder to himself of the grave he’d dug for himself.

Octavia waved away his words, handing him freshly baked cookies. 

“You bake?”

“Ilian bakes,” she corrected. 

Bellamy nodded, taking a bite and nodding warmly at Ilian when he came downstairs.

“Hey, Octavia.”

Bellamy forced himself to not look away when Ilian quickly kissed her.

“How’s it going, Bellamy?” he asked.

Octavia didn’t let Bellamy answer and said, “Bellamy’s  _ confused _ . And I am confused about what he’s confused about.”

Ilian smiled at Octavia, shaking his head and shrugging at Bellamy. “Well, Bellamy. Why don’t you stay for dinner? Maybe Octavia here will find a way to put that psych degree to use since she hasn’t been using it much.”

“Brilliant idea, Ilian. Bellamy should absolutely stay.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude.”

Octavia very audibly sighed and stated monotonously, “You’re my brother and I love you and you’re in no way intruding.” This time, with more life in her voice, she said, “Honestly, saying that everytime we invite you over or ask you to stay for dinner is kinda exhausting. You’re never intruding.”

Bellamy was thankful for the words. Visiting Octavia always helped center him, and this time was no exception.

“Thanks, O. I love you, too,” Bellamy replied, sure there was the old ‘proud brother’ smile on his face.


End file.
